I was chatting to my son the other day about Social Studies, or SOS as they call it now. I loved Social Studies and English. They were my best subjects. My son is an ace at maths and science, receiving the science award this year at school with an A+

When I was in high school the thought of recieving top of the class for anything was the last thing on my mind, I just needed to get through. I think the brains skipped a generation.

But my son was bemoaning the ‘uselessness’ of social studies and history. Who cares he said!
He wants to be an engineer, or computer science or scientist. Something in that field. I said to him, you know what son, no matter what field you go into, eventually you will have to deal with people. I shared how his uncle, who is doing very well for himself, started off as an engineer, dealing with maths and physics. But now he is in management. And management involves leadership. And leadership involves people.

Social studies and history are, in their best form, all about relationships, all about people. No matter what you choose to do in life, eventually it will be all about people…and relationships.

I consider myself a fairly discerning sort of person. However I need to be really careful.

Whenever you look at a situation you make certain assessments of it. Peoples motives, feelings and level of emotion. Why are they leaving? Why do they choose to leave your community, often with no communication at all. Not just why they are leaving, but even the fact they are leaving!

You can make all sorts of assumptions about them.

It is pretty clear that in our church culture we run from conflict. From someone being honest and frank at the risk of feelings being hurt. I think this is the reason we don’t do ‘exit interviews’ of people who leave. We also just don’t ask.

It is a hard practice to get into. But its a good one. You discover all sorts of misunderstandings, good reasons and some mud that sticks…and confronts you to change.

When I started out in pastoring I had very little training on conflict.
Yet as the first decade went on it was the most needed skill I needed.
In the early days I was characterised by running from conflict. Avoiding it. Being defined and constricted by it.
I have learnt that the pain of quickly dealt with conflict is far preferable to long drawn out conflict, which festers.

Understanding when you go into a conversation that there is heightened emotion, and at times ownership, helps. Also understanding that you can give yourself time also helps. Questions don’t need to be answered straight away. So to that end you must demonstrate that you will revisit and return to the subject once you have prayed and thought about the issue. This develops trust.

It truly is the key skill any Pastor, and leader needs. As wisdom and experience come, as well as ability to bring the conversation back to the issue, and away from personal attacks, conflict can actually become your friend. It can be a touchpoint for growth and change.

3 or 4 days a week I brush my daughters hair so she can have it tied up for school.
It is not something I ever really thought I would do.
The task takes about 5 minutes and meets with various levels of success. Greeted by either ‘great job dad’ or a deep sigh at a fathers incompetence with a scrunchie.

The day will come when my daughter will not need me to do her hair.
So for now, I enjoy the moment we have together.

At Inglewood Church this week I am speaking on hospitality.
One of the key joys in being part of a church is in hospitality to each other and to ‘strangers’.
In fact so often the exhortation in the Bible is to be hospitable to the stranger. To care for the stranger.

This is not always natural for us. Some of us are more introverted and like our space. Perhaps we just prefer the company of our friends. Yet it is in being generous with our time, home and space that the blessing come.

Whenever a Pastor leaves their church it is sad, for different reasons I am sure. When a high profile Pastor like Mark Driscoll leaves there are many other words used to describe it. Scandalous, shocking, harmful.

In the great old USA Church news is much more prominent that here in Australia, Hillsong excepted of course. When the news broke that Driscoll was taking a leave of absence and then quitting it was mainstream newsworthy. Imagine that sort of pressure upon you as a minister.

The point of my post here is that we are all flawed. Some of us immensely. I know I am. The flaws peculiar to Mark Driscoll where just on display for all to see at a much higher intensity than mine.
Do these flaws take away from the good that God has done? I don’t believe so, because anything God has done is good, and prevails.

If the reports are true, the work God did through Mars Hill Church was immense and eternal. Thousands of people had their destinies changed because they preached the good news. Any arrogance, bluster, insensitivity or plain pig-headedness Driscoll may have does not take away from what God has done.

I enjoyed listening to Driscoll preach. I thought it was great that much of his teaching was given away. I felt encouraged, challenged and blessed by much of what he said. I also thought at times he was sexist, overbearing, arrogant and bullish in his approach. But as so very often is true, our greatest strength is our greatest weakness. Perhaps this is true of Driscoll.

I know God is not finished with him yet. But what I would say in a general sense, that perhaps could be applied specifically to this situation, is that no one needs to be a Pastor to serve God. It is a high calling. Sometimes the path of humility is to recognise that, and to be able to say, I don’t need to be a Pastor to be significant to the Kingdom of God. Sometimes it may be our need for significance that drives us to the pulpit, rather than the need of the Kingdom.

I wrote an article for The Advocate this month.
(The Advocate is our Baptist Newsletter for the state)
It is all about humour in church
You can read my article by clicking on the link below. It is on the second page at the top,
“A time to laugh”

Read Here