All posts by Mark Edwards

An Eagle, A Docker and a Magpie

An Eagle supporter, a Collingwood supporter and a Dockers supporter
were arrested in a small Arabian state when they were caught piddling on a religious building after an all night drinking binge.

The trio have to face up to the local sultan and are dished out the typical punishment for Religious desecration – 20 lashes of the whip to the back.
But the Sultan was a big football fan so he kindly granted them two wishes each – but they were not allowed to reduce the number of lashes or the type of punishment. The Eagle supporter says “Well we are on top of the ladder so I go first. I want the pleasure of a beer and a pillow.” The Sultan grants his wishes. With a wide grin the Eagle supporter drinks his beer and binds the pillow to his naked back. But after 10 lashes the pillow falls apart and he has to painfully endure the remaining 10 lashes which leave deep welt marks on his back.

The Collingwood supporter saw all this and spends a few minutes thinking before, smiling. “I would like to have two pillows for my back”. The Sultan thinks about the uniqueness of the wishes but decides to grant it given he has used up his two wishes in one go. However after 15 lashes of the whip both pillows have fallen apart and the Collingwood supporter has to painfully endure the remaining 5 lashes which leave deep welt marks on his back.

The Dockers supporter is grinning from ear to ear and mutters something under his breath about a bulldust penalty. “Ok my first wish is to double the number of lashes to 40.”There is stunned silence in the hall. The Eagle, Collingwood supporter and Sultan are a little surprised at the first wish but then remember the strong fighting performance the Dockers have been putting up during the 2006 season.

The Eagle and Collingwood supporter look at each other and nod in admiration – obviously this Docker supporter wants to show how tough he is. The Sultan asks the Docker supporter for his second wish.

“Tie the Eagle supporter to my back” he replies.

HT Dockerland

Communication and preaching

I am doing a lot of work at the moment on improving my communication skills.
A lot of what Seth Godwin goes on about has been really helpful.

I am convinced of a few things as a Pastor/preacher/communicator.

People want to listen and learn, but get bored pretty easily.
If I get about 40 chances a year to speak to people, I had better make the most of it.

A lot of people are visual learners. This is only going to increase.
I have better make sure I use visual aids.

People want to connect emotionally with what is being taught.
Stories are vital, as is passion, I had better believe and live what I speak about.

Bible stories as illustrations are only effective if they speak to me, today, about my circumstances. How often did Jesus use Biblical illustrations? Not often. He quoted scripture, and sometimes referred to OT stories, but most of His material was gathered as He walked down the street.

God needs to do whats really important, but that does not excuse me from being slack. In fact, I need to use all God has given me.

The biggest sin I can commit as a speaker, apart from speaking heresy, is make the most important message in the world, BORING.

Pioneers at Bedford

We had a great Sunday today.
Church was packed, and it was exciting,
The worship team played at just the right level, and the Worship Leader led with sensitivity.
In my view worship time at Church is best when the church get into it, sing loudly, laugh, enjoy, pray together. Today there was a real sense of oneness and unity, it was quite profound.
I started my new series on Unmasked, talking about prayer, and how, if we are frank, it bores us sometimes.
I ended with an awe inspiring quote from Watchmen Nee, The righteous man. Woh, God’s Spirit moved.

Then………

We had our special members meeting.
Almost unanimous vote on the next stage of our relocation. Incredible sense that God is with us, as much as we are stepping out as the original founders of Bedford Baptist Church did, as pioneers. wow. wow. wow.

Pizza, Hillsong and Central Baptist

Every year, when on my annual pilgrimage to Hillsong Conference, my mate and I have Pizza on the main street of Sydney, George St.
Directly opposite our favourite pizza shop is Central Baptist Church, which seems to have a strong ethnic, Chinese congregation.
We often wonder about the old Gothic building, set in the heart of Sydney, and wonder what goes on there.

Well, obviously something!!
Here is the sign they have out the front.

Story

Sort of reminds me of that old bumper sticker, “Jesus loves you, everyone else can’t stand you”

No saints down at St Kilda

Except for maybe St Nick, and he has gone down with a hamstring.
Gerhig has been accused of bashing someone at a motel in Melbourne, along with serial pest, Steven Lawrence. Story

And the Saints have six other injured players, Matt Maguire, Fergus Watts, Raphael Clarke, Aaron Hamill, Max Hudghton and Lenny Hayes.
Looks like that bet is pretty safe!