Dolores Aguilar Obituary

This came via Rodney Olsens Blog…and has been certified as accurate and not an urban myth from Snopes.
“Dolores Aguilar 1929 – Aug. 7, 2008
Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008.
She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.”

You know…I have performed probably 100 funerals…maybe more. The one that sticks out the most, apart from my own fathers….is one where the mother of the children was seriously disliked by her children. She loved horses…to the extent of neglect of her children. They told me story after story of her leaving them in the rain, not feeding them, not doing any of the normal things a mum did, because she was down at the horse stables. None of the horses came to the funeral, but the children did, now grown up and distant from a mother who cared little for them.
Funny thing was, although they were frank with me, when it came to the funeral, everything was politically correct…they told half truths and a resemblance of the truth…but the truth was, none of them had much to do with their mum once they left home.

There comes time to tell the truth, it sets us free….telling the truth in love.

I dont know whether Dolores’ daughter did the right thing, but something about it smacks of more authenticity than saying how great she was, when she clearly was not…for whatever reason.

Rodney’s Post Snopes Article

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