The past weekend I spent in the dustbowl of a paddock in Cuballing, Wheatbelt territory of Western Australia. I helped organise the Mighty Mens Conference. Around 380 blokes from all over Australia turned up.

My role was publicity, audio-visual, some work with registrations and general leadership.

What a great weekend. The key leader of the event really felt God was wanting to deal with a ‘religious spirit’ which has infected our Churches. The idea that Christianity is organised…or sterilised…leaving out the need for or reliance on the Spirit of God to renew and change us.

Each speaker brought something fresh and challenging. Real blokes…each one…with real stories of God’s intervention in their lives, enabling them to be sensitive husbands, ‘present’ fathers and strong leaders in the home, church and society.

For many of the men the highlight was the ‘down times’ when instead of talking about footy, cars and work….we spent time praying for, counseling, encouraging and speaking prophetic words into men’s lives. This is not to say we did not have time speaking about cars, kicking footies and even having rides in a helicopter! But just that as well as the normal blokey stuff, we found ourselves engaging with other men on a spiritual level, something which is rare in churches.

I wonder what will happen as the blokes go back to their own churches? Will they continue to pray, encourage and exhort each other? I truly believe…and hope so.

On a purely personal note, having my own son with me was a joy. We camped, ate bad food (sorry mum) and worked on the AV stuff together, with Mr 11 operating a video camera for much of the weekend. He also got to have a ride in a helicopter…and on Sunday afternoon when most blokes had left, drive dad’s Zook (manual gearbox and all) around the paddock.

Today I was reading an article posted by my friend John Finkelde, a Church Consultant here in Perth. The crux of it was what would you do if you spotted a Baptist Professor drinking with someone. My first response would be to join him, and hope it was his shout!

But seriously….we need to get over this alcohol problem we have. The problem being our puritan roots, not the alcohol. I have a good friend who suffers from alcoholism. In many ways it has hurt his life, and destroyed relationships. Now he leads Alcoholics Anonymous. He said to me that if he spotted me drinking he would be offended if I tried to hide it from him. It is his problem, not mine, was his response. A mature response from a mature Christian man. Not all Christians are so mature.

Some try to twist scripture, as an old professor did with me. When Jesus turned the water into wine…it was fruit juice he proclaimed. That was the ‘best wine’. Yeah sure. The best wine is wine that has fermented properly.

Some do struggle with alcohol, some have a problem with Christians drinking it, and I don’t want to be a stumbling block to them. So I would abstain when in  their presence. That is the path of love.

But for myself….if you know me, you will know I enjoy a social drink of alcohol. I don’t have a problem with enjoying the good things God has provided. I love this quote from Benjamin Franklin, ‎”Behold the rain which descends from heaven upon our vineyards, there it enters the roots of the vines, to be changed into wine, a constant proof that God loves us, and loves to see us happy”.

It is pretty clear what the line is, don’t get drunk, but rather be filled with the Spirit. (Eph 5.18) I interpret this to mean that if drinking is a problem for you, if you find you want to drink enough to get you out of control, if alcohol is controlling you…then that is a problem. But enjoying a drink…..something to enjoy.

Article

John Finkelde

Rick Warren tweeted this this morning… ‘ Never ruin an apology by adding an excuse’.

Very compelling statement. There may be reasons why you have messed up, why things have not gone well. But often when you have hurt someone, or made a mistake…the last thing they want to hear is excuses. All they want is a simple yet profound and sincere… ‘sorry’

In a related thought, perhaps this is why Yumi Stynes and George Negus are still being criticized after the incident with Colonel Roberts Smith.

Spoke on Sunday from Ezekiel 37….and being filled with the Spirit.

Might be worth a listen…

Listen

I conduct funerals on a semi-regular basis. People from church, friends and friends of friends….I have also attended many as well.
One thing that strikes me is the variation in honesty and frankness at a funeral.

Some people were not nice, and despite a veneer of respectability, they were mean, selfish and bad parents. But it is so much more complex than that. Different children can describe the same parent in such a vastly different way, it is astounding…and almost monotonously regular.

One funeral I conducted was fascinating. The middle aged children sat down to talk with me about their mother. After many moments of awkward silence, they came out with it. She was not a good mother. She loved horses to the exclusion of her kids. Sometimes the children would be waiting in the rain to be picked up, sometimes for hours, because mum was down at the stables.

Interestingly, speaking to me was quite cathartic. They were then able to share some of the good things about their mum. There nearly always is something good, something we can laugh about together. I try to give freedom to laugh at a funeral, particularly if there is tension and unsaid things.

What has made me uneasy is when the person is celebrated as a ‘good bloke’ when in fact he cheated on his wife, numerous times, got drunk…a lot, and there where whispers of things in the family which are awful such as abuse. Something I am learning is the art of telling the truth, but in a gracious way that people are not offended, but still understand what you are communicating.  The alternative is to be totally frank and offensive, or dishonest. Telling the truth but in love and respect. I like to think it gives people the opportunity to celebrate what was good, while not hiding what was not. None of us are perfect. Forgiveness is about letting go of that hurt that may have been inflicted on us. Denial is suppressing the truth and pretending awful things never happened.

Either way, a funeral is nearly always a time when you discover lots of things about the person which you had not known before, even if you had lived with them for 40 years! Because we all have different perspectives on people, depending on how they treat us. It is a time for relief, for joy, for sadness. Its a time to understand regret and pain, and let it go.