Recently someone said to me that even though their boyfriend is treating them badly, they go back to them time and time again. I don’t know the person well, but I do wonder what makes women allow men to treat them badly.

I wonder this particularly in the light of having a daughter to raise. The last thing she should ever be doing is begging a boy to treat her well, go out with her….put up with her. What is going to give her the self esteem that she will realise she is of great worth, and should be treated well by any boy?

Well I believe in many ways that is my responsibility, as her father. Her sense that she is beautiful, worthy, lovely….will in a large part come from how I treat her. So I resolve to speak words of life, encouragement and exhortation to her. It means she will receive appropriate touch, hugs, cuddles and kisses from me. It means I will take her out sometimes and speak to her well, treat her like a lady.

It does not mean I will be unrealistic with her, or spoil her, or make her think she is the centre of the universe. She will also see that I treat her mother entirely different to how I treat anyone else. She will learn how a woman should be treated by how her mother is treated.

Thats a lot. God give me grace, wisdom and strength.

3 thoughts on “Princess”

  1. Mark, I completely agree with what you are saying here. And I think it can be extended to include her perceptions of how her mum reacts to you, because if she sees her mum (and other women around her) reacting in positive ways to the way they are treated, then hopefully she will realise that is the correct way to be treated by a man. And I think you should also include your son in this. Because boys also model their own relationships on their fathers (and mothers). It’s a holistic thing. But I know you are definitely doing your part right!

  2. It also highlights as a youth pastor both the way I treat the girls in the group, and how I teach the boys to act as well. As a single guy I think I have an almost better example than most of the fathers in the group of boys I have. We pamper boys and allow them too much of their own way, even in churches, these days and it stops them from growing into men… I think teaching and showing the responsibility we have as men will eventually filter down to the way these men treat women. So not only do we need to teach women not to put up with mistreatment, but we need to be showing boys how to become men who treat women well.

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