I have a desire to change how I preach at least every 12 months.

A fundamental switch to grow, change and force myself to rethink how I speak.

The past 12 months I have been handwriting all my messages onto a notepad.

It has given me such a sense of freedom, risk. As I have said to a number of people lately, based on all the good teaching I have received and sought, I should be able to preach from the heart a good message on the spot. That doesnt mean I do! I take the task too seriously to do that. The fundamental question I ask myself now in preparation is not….how can I preach a good message. Thats a fine question. But it is not the best question. The best question to ask is….God what do you want me to say this week.

Being a local church pastor has its challenges. One of the main ones being that you speak probably 40 times a year to the same church. This can become monotonous for everyone! So unless God is in it, I am just relying on my limited skills.

One bonus of hand written messages is that I never need to worry about printing or power. As I head off on a mission trip shortly, I have about 12 months of useable material I can draw upon, at the turn of a page.

Being realistic about people, particularly when you are serving in leadership at a local church level, is really important.

There are people who love you, and you love them. Together you are on a missional journey. They appreciate what you do, you love what they do. Its beautiful.

There are others who just take what you give. They will take whatever you give. I am heartened that the Apostle Paul knew about these people. In 2 Corinthains 12.15 he says this, ^“I will gladly spend myself and all I have for you, even though it seems that the more I love you, the less you love me”. If you are in ministry for the love of others, that is to receive love from others, it will be a difficult and disappointing road. We all want to be appreciated, but the path of Jesus is very often to give love sacrificially, knowing the reward is not here and now…and may not be acknowledged. Therefore you need to determine what you are willing to give away, for nothing.

In my young formative years as a boy growing up in Church, around the age of 10, I remember the most scandalous event occurring. An elder (I think) of the church I was attending, had an affair with one of the ladies of the church. They were disciplined and made to leave the church. I don’t know how long this process took, if it was appropriate, if they were unrepentant, I know nothing. I was 10.

I remember that a year or so later I heard (even as a 10 or less year old) that they had divorced their original partner and married each other. Now years later, like 30 years later, for whatever reason they pop up on my facebook feed. Obviously still happily married, and perhaps even in church and ministry. Its a funny old world isn’t it.

I’m not making any conclusions on this, judgement, or even speculating. I just the whole thing interesting. We know God’s grace is amazing. We know everyone is entitled to a fresh start, a new beginning. But we also know marriage is a beautiful covenant, promise for life. People make mistakes, and God forgives. And we get on with it.

Remembering a walk through the rain with my family today.

Its great to have that time….but you do get wet and a little cold…

But then, sitting in front of the heater, drinking a hot drink….

If it were not for the cold and wet, you would not appreciate the warmth as much.

Recently I watched a video and it made me mad.
It doesnt matter who the video was from.

In fact I drafted this post sometime ago and have left it sitting here so the video being shared has long gone.

The proposition made in the video was that when we worship, and the speaker was predominantly talking about worship in song during a church service, should be done without humour and emotion. His statement was that it should be all based on what our mind knows of God. Overt emotion and humour should be avoided.

Ironically of course he used humour, mostly sarcasm, to make his point. He also used emotion and body language as he was quite passionate about it.

Ironic really.

One would think a cursory read of the Psalms, using your mind, might push such maddening propositions to the back of the queue.

My wife has journeyed with me at Inglewood for the last 20 years. She calls it ‘our little baby’ which has grown up.

She has served in just about every area of the church life. In the midst of conflict and pain…she was there. With the stress of financial pressure, she was there. When the service was magnificent and the spirit soared…she was there.

As I agonise over decisions, as I made really difficult decisions, she has listened, counseled and spoke prophetically into my life. I have learnt to listen to her, yet make my own decisions. Sometimes we disagree, but always we have the best interests of the church at heart.

Sometimes the church can feel like a mistress, taking me away from family, from my wife, distracting and dividing us. But its in those moments I need to remind us, it is Jesus’ church, not mine, not hers, not ours. It is His responsibility, its just under our care at the moment.

What an incredible support she is. I often share with pastoral peers that you can fail in ministry, but failing in marriage is far worse. In fact the two are tied.  For a pastor, more than perhaps any other ‘career’, your marriage and its health is vital for the safe and effective outworking of your ministry. If your marriage fails, so has your ministry.

I thank God for a wife who is not only supportive of me in the Pastorate, but more than that, has the same vision for the church that I do.

Here is a fairly nondescript photo of me painting a window. Nothing earth shattering. However as I found myself doing this, I remember back about 15 years or so when I was last painting windows. At my old church building we had just invested in a data projector which cost us a fair bit of coin in those days, was about 1100 ansi-lumens (brightness) and was literally the size and weight of a decent suitcase. I needed to paint over some of the church windows that were throwing light onto the part of the stage the projector was focused on.

At the time no one really got why I was doing this. It almost seemed unnecessary. Until they saw the result that is. The picture was clearer, the words were easily read and we could show clips and movies. It was something I just needed to do, to get the result. People did not understand why we needed a data projector at all….until they saw the result.

As a church leader the reality is that sometimes you just need to get on and do something, because while people may not understand, with prayerful decisions, you just know it needs to be done. Painting a window is hardly earth shattering but it is an illustration.

This week I found myself again painting some windows to help shut out the light. Of course the three projectors we have in our new building are now much more sophisticated, although not much more expensive than they were back then! At 6500 Ansi-Lumen they are certainly a lot brighter! It just brought back to my mind a lesson I was learning, and the fact that sometimes as a leader you do need to just get on with it.