“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. “

I am not blaming anyone but myself, this is not a ‘woe is me’ statement. But I have had very few older mentors and people in my life that have seen me, spurred me on, encouraged, exhorted and even ‘disciplined’. In more recent years I have actively reached out and have found a supervisor. I also have a couple of close older friends, who speak truth into my life.

All of us want that, we want to be seen, affirmed, encouraged and also….truth in love spoken into our lives. I think this is why I am so passionate about being this older person for others now.

To see someone, identify in them potential for ministry, to encourage exhort and spur on. And to be given permission to speak truth into their lives.

This week we learnt of the passing of John MacArthur.

This post is personal reflection, and I would like it taken as such, not authoritative journalism.

I discovered John’s work back in my formative Christian years, as a passionate young adult, having become a Christian and studying at a conservative Bible College. We were encouraged to read John MacArthur. One of the earliest discussions he provoked was around ‘Lordship Salvation’ with John taking the view that Christianity had embraced an ‘easy belief’ system neglecting the call of Jesus to discipleship. In my view he had some challenging things to say.

He was strongly anti-charismatic. It is interesting reading some biographical details coming out now and discovering John always saw himself as a Christian, having never really had an encounter with Jesus even at a young age. I don’t post this as a negative. In fact many Christians say they have always know God, being brought up in Christian homes. However I do suspect that John may very well fit into that category of people for whom I would say, because they did not experience it for themself, they don’t see the need for others to experience it. In this case my interpretation is that John does not allow the scriptures to speak for themselves. Instead he goes against the scriptures revelation and allows his own lack of experience to dictate how he interprets the Bible. The Bible is full of revelation, dreams, tongue speaking, prophecy, miracles and healings. You can’t deny that. You can squeeze it into your own box however. You can deny the clear testimony of scripture. You can also take on verse from 1 Corinthians 13 out of context and dismiss the whole narrative of Acts on that basis. You can deny many solid and intelligent Christians and their experience of the Holy Spirit and His outworking. I can’t judge John for this, it is a view I took myself. Until God surprised me with experiences of Himself that did match up with the scriptural story but not with a doctrine I had been taught.

He also took a strong view on male headship both within the church and without. In my conservative years I would have agreed with him. But as I studied the scriptures more I continue to see how badly we have allowed one or two verses to colour our interpretation of the Bible. The early church embraced female pastors, teachers, church planters, evangelists and Apostles. It’s ludicrous how we have coloured our churches with such a narrow view to discount the egalitarian nature of the early church. It just is not there. A strong view of scripture and the scriptural narrative will take you to the position that Jesus did, that we are all made in Gods image and have equal roles to play within the church, in contrast to the power narrative of a secular culture, both in Jesus and Pauls day, and indeed of ours. But beyond that, it was distressing to John MacArthurs rude and derogatory dismissal of his sisters in Christ. This was not Christ like at all. I can’t imagine Jesus talking to women as John did, purely based on John’s own words. Nothing else. To justify it by a narrow view of the Bible was distressing.

John wrote some exceptional commentaries. I had many of them in my library for many years. Even as my views on the scripture continued their divergence from his, I still found his work helpful. Some of the historical and technical understanding was good. In my view however there were blind spots. Times when John did not back up his strong views with scripture. This is when it became difficult to know when it was scripture talking or Johns voice. Like his personal persona, his written one showed a lack of humility and grace. He tended to shout louder when he had less to support his view. Ultimately as credible reports starting coming out about his abuse and treatment of women within his church I could not personally countenance his books on my shelf. Too many reports from women on a lack of care and grace toward them and a dismissal of their testimonies. So before my move across the country I threw them all in the bin.

We all have character flaws, and I certainly have mine. I wonder what an honest obituary will say about Pastor Mark. I would not want certain people to be asked, because I know what they might say, and they would be right. I have feet of clay and regrets on how I have led.

I know other people who are complimentarian and even non-charismatic who I respect and acknowledge and will minister with. Let us be at peace as far as is possible, and depending on how far you take these things, they are not the main thing. Jesus is. For me, John MacArthur went too often to the well of ungraciousness, dismissiveness and at times plain meanness and arrogance. But like us all, he will kneel before Jesus and understand then, like I will, how sinful he has been. But also in that moment how dependent upon grace he is, like I will be.

John, like all of us, will be surprised by who is in heaven as he meets Jesus.