Trying to understand how and why

The recent reports in regard to Ravi really cause me to rethink again how our relationship with God works. Here is an orthodox and highly talented Bible teacher. Someone who was able to cross over all Christian cultures with insightful Bible teaching. He was incredibly well known and revered whether you are part of a small Anglican Church or a Mega Church. Both saw and recognised a gifting and anointing. In all public appearances he was warm, humble and gracious.

Nothing of course could be further from the truth in his private life. A sordid history of sexual misdemours and what can only be classified as spiritual abuse. Using his position of power to manipulate and control for his own gratification.

I can’t help but again ask the question, how and why is God so gracious? How much of human sin is relative and is God unshockable? Ravi continued his public ministry, presumably with the same power and presence as when he started. Yet his rapid decline into depravity is clear. I truly do not understand how he could rely upon the power of the Spirit when presumably a few moments or days before he had been abusing those made in God’s image and precious in His sight.

Some talk about sin as being sin. It does not matter the depth. All of us who are public speakers and leaders are fully aware of our own sin. It sits there and rears it ugly head. In those moments I once again cling to the cross and console myself that God is good and His love and forgiveness endures forever. However I would be less than honest if I did not say that someone like Ravis depth of sin confuses me. I do not want to be guilty of consoling myself that my sin is far less than Ravis. But to be honest, it is. And that makes me ask the question, at what point am I disqualified? At what point is Ravi disqualified? If God is indeed Holy and Awesome then none of us qualify. None.

Others say Ravi was a celebrity leader and like Bill and others before him he was not held accountable. A general principle I have talked about before is never name a ministry after a person. Unless that person is Jesus. Keep your leaders accountable. However I am beginning to think that is more for the organisations sake than the leaders. Because who can really keep another accountable? You can’t control or monitor my thoughts. A glance here and there goes unchecked as does the thought life of anyone. Ravi and Bill were able to leave behind a legacy of brokenness and pain because the leaders did not watch over them. The leaders and elders are now suffering from their own worship at the altar of celebrity as they survey the smouldering wreckage of a broken organisation. I don’t think God cares anywhere near as much about our organisations as we do. He cares about the Church and it will flourish and the gates of Hell will not prevail against that. Even though the Devil will win some skirmishes as leaders fail.

My main thought though is this. God is gracious and kind. His grace is amazing. I don’t understand that. I appreciate it. But I don’t get the depth of it.

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