Category Archives: Church

Accountability, before the mess

As I read through the depressing articles coming out about another disgraced former Bible teacher I am aware of how fragile we as humans are. This time it is from a different form of church. No smoke machines or flashing lights at Ravi’s ministry. However the same depressing story of a lack of accountability. A sexual predator and narcissistic leader with non-disclosure agreements and payments made to keep the victims quiet while the incredibly talented teacher kept up his ministry, named after himself.

Here are some basic principles I think we all need as leaders.

Never name a ministry after the leader. Not a hall, not a pen, not a aspect of the ministry, nothing. The ministry should be named after Jesus or the suburb you are in. Simple. The ministry should not be dependent upon one leader, it should continue after they pass on or leave, and it should not be dependent upon their giftedness.

Have a board that asks the hard questions and it not there to just rubber stamp where the leader wishes to take them. Good leaders will have vision. They will see where the ministry needs to go. They should also be allowed to lead. Don’t stifle their gift. But as a balance, do not be afraid to ask the why question and keep the leader accountable. That is for the leaders benefit and the health of the organisation as a whole.

Ensure your leader has the support they need. I personally have a mentor, a psychologist I see, a peer group and an associate who asks me the hard questions. I also have staff that I encourage to give me feedback. I give them feedback and they give me feedback. Encourage a feedback culture. We all want to be better at what we do. Feedback is how we get better.

If you are a leader, ensure you have time to pray and read your bible. It is actually a simple yet profound formulae. The bible is your tool. It is the single most powerful tool you have to see transformation occur in peoples lives. It is also your accountability station. When you read it in the morning you should ask, God, Holy Spirit, work with me here. When our intention to meets the inspired scripture then transformation can take place.

Here is the issue though. You cannot keep a leader accountable. Not really. A leader chooses to be accountable or not. Yes you can sack them, disgrace them, move them on. But as we have seen all too often, in church, like in general society, we allow gifting to trump character. We bring people back in all too soon. We ignore or neglect issues of character, because they are good at what they do. Perhaps a salient reminder is that it is Jesus who will grow His Church, why do we think it is our job? Why do we sacrifice integrity for expediency? Yes we must be His servants and do what we can and if someone if gifted, release them into that. But we also cannot ignore issues around sustainability and integrity.

Finally have courage. Say something.

You are not Jesus and you are not telling off the Pharisees

My observation is that some brilliant Christian minds can also be unkind, derisive and curt. They often write brilliant books with helpful analogies. They are very good at seeing what needs to change and what is wrong. I would not want to doubt their intelligence and giftedness.

However in personal contact including both in life experience, with emails and social media platforms like TikTokRush where they can easily find ways to cut down those with whom they disagree with, or take issue with. Often when a challenge comes to them or a point they make, they seem to take that quite personally. Their response may be curt. They may seek to bring others in to the discussion to prove why the person is wrong. They may also refuse to engage properly with the discussion.

One test for us to be able to examine our own hearts is to honestly say who we see ourselves as being in the biblical narrative.

Often someone with narcissistic tendencies will see themself as Jesus. The suffering servant. The leader of men. The one to whom others come and find wise and insightful teaching. They thank God that they can see things others cannot. When in your heart you believe you are Gods mouth piece, writing things others listen to, speaking out when others don’t, it can be intoxicating.

Jesus points this out when he describes one man in the temple beating his chest over his own sin. The Pharisee is out in front where everyone can see him, thanking God for how good it is. The posture of the weeper is humility, the posture of the Pharisee is self seeking and pride.

Can we truly see anyone be transformed? Of course. It can and it does happen. Perhaps for some it it a journey of deep and painful discovery. I have learnt to ask people what they actually see in me, and then listen.

Key Things in my leadership

Here are some things I am working on in my own leadership style. I have become accutely aware that I am not good at confronting and dealing with small issues. They fester and then can become larger issues. This is super painful for me. To realise things about myself which don’t help others.

Key Cultural shifts

  1. Quick, direct, kind, simple feedback for everyone. Staff and volunteers.
  2. If people love Jesus they will serve, give, be engaged, share their faith, invite people to church and the church will grow in number and influence
  3. If we don’t delegate we control. When we control we limit creativity to our own and miss the creativity which is stored in others. We can have control or growth, we can’t have both
  4. The Bible is the key tool we have to see real growth and change in peoples lives. Our challenge as leaders is to have our people read their bibles for inspiration, challenge, encouragement and exhortation. 
  5. Trusting people means challenging them to say yes to Jesus at every point in their lives. 

Wow, so this is what my church looks like

I am fully expecting that in 6-12 months when the Covid19 Virus has done its worst and the restrictions are lifted that a stack of people are going to come in through the physical doors of Inglewood Community Church and say, wow, this is what my church looks like on the inside. The screen is so huge and the band is massive. That Pastor Mark guy is a little skinnier than he looks on the screen and he moves around a lot.

God is not afraid of a virus and neither should the church be. The past four weeks have been some of the most taxing and difficult of my 25 year pastoral journey. We have battled anxiety, fear, the possibility of financial collapse and a total reimagination of what Church actually is.

The Church is in the business of gathering people. Whether it be youth programs, children’s programs or a Sunday Service, we bring people together for singing, for worship, for teaching, for discipleship and for encouragement and fellowship. We ask them to serve and be served. To help people say yes to Jesus.

Has that been taken away? No. The way we have done it is in recess, as it should be. The path of love in this season is physical seperation. But the gathering? Never before has the Church had such incredible tools available to it to gather people, to reach people, to worship and to serve.

At Inglewood we are struggling under the strain like everyone else. And I do not think the larger churches will cope any better than the small ones. The key to this season is innovation and agility. Being hopeful and purposeful.

Four weeks in we are reaching people we have never reached. We have reconnected with people we have lost touch with. And people are saying yes to Jesus.

Am I looking forward to meeting together again in a physical building? Absolutely. Do I want to go back to how things were. Absolutely not. This season is one to be capitalised. I can’t wait to shake the hands of people for the first time, people I have seen say yes to Jesus.

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Sacrificing our integrity on the altar of success

As news breaks of another significant church leader being stood down over allegations of abuse it causes me to wonder why we allow this to continue.

This Story has been months in the breaking, and years in the circumstances leading up to it. What is most surprising in this particular one is that those who had the authority to remove the leader didn’t. Those who could have dealt with it before it became a major issue appear reasonable, fair and dare I say it, nice. My question in this post is why didn’t they deal with the situation until it was about to become public.

Success has become defined in Christians circles as the ability to draw a crowd. How ironic that in this latest story the model was to live in close quarters with each other. The leader had a church of around 120 people. Not the sort of church featured in Relevant Magazine. But he was a gifted preacher, a skilled leader and had the ability to capture imagination and inspire young people.

The common factor in contemporary stories of Church leaders who have fallen is not their theology. We have seen complimentarian leaders, egalitarian leaders, reformed, pentecostal, charismatic, seeker sensitive, house model and in fact I can’t think of a type we have not seen. Let us not overreact and say the mega church is flawed. It isn’t. Neither is the House Church movement. People are flawed. People with no accountability are dangerous.

My proposition is that the common factor with these leaders has been their gaining of disproportionate power through success.

Success covers a multitude of sins.

We do not deal with their abuse, their misuse of power, their sexual abuse, their lack of Christian grace, kindness and mercy because we are worshipping on the altar of success. We do not want to deal with their issues because we are enjoying being a part of a movement of God. We don’t speak out because we don’t want to be marginalised or accused of being a gossip or worse, see the ministry come crashing down.

I think we need to understand the complexity of this issue. Our God is incredibly gracious. He uses people who are incredibly flawed. We see this time and time again in the stories in the Bible. In a similar way, people in these ministries find Jesus, discover purpose for their lives, find community and places to worship together.

However no-one is above correction, rebuke and even church discipline.

We need to once again meditate on what success is and understand success can be extraordinary. Revival is real, does happen and should be celebrated. Let us not be cynical. However success can also be a temptation to overlook. To not reflect. To not allow difficult questions to be asked.

My hope, joy and belief is in the local church and the leaders who choose to take up that call to lead. It is not a easy role. It is indeed a calling. One I cannot turn away from.

Why Pastors have affairs

I could say this post is provoked by recent events in the life of the global church. As a long time supporter of Willow Creek Community Church and having read all Hybels books and been a part of his conferences, his recent fall has shocked me. The latest allegations coming out of Willow leave me wondering if there is not a systematic issue that needs addressing. But it is deeper than that for me. I have had various mentors, up close ones, who have failed spectacularly in this area. At the cost of relationships and ministries. It strikes home personally for me.

Pastors have affairs because they want to get out of ministry

This may surprise the reader. However it is true. I have seen and observed pastors deliberately compromise themselves because the pressure of ministry was such that they saw this as a way of escape. They could not just say or admit it, ministry is hard, I need to leave. In their mind anything would be better than this pressure. For them to quit would be to admit failure or to say that they were not good enough to keep going. Neither of which appears to be a better option than moral failure.

Pastors have affairs because they wish to rekindle their youth, or perhaps have a youth

This is not unique to pastors, but is certainly true of them. Many Pastors have had a relatively clean upbringing and never took the opportunity to be a rebellious teenager, young adult. They did not hang out at parties, they did not travel the world backpacking, they did not have many relationships apart from the person they ended up marrying. They find themselves in a position where they think they have missed out. They resent the life they have lived up to this point and wish to gain something they never had.

Pastors have affairs because they have disproportionate power relationships

I have only come to realise in the past few years how much power Pastors have that they generally don’t realise. We spend our lives encouraging and supporting people. Generally helping them with their lives, serving. Something changes at some point and many Pastors realise that in fact they have influence over people. It can be a sudden and jolting realisation. At that point the Pastor can choose to use that power for their own means. Whether it be power, money or an affair. We are in relationships where the boundaries can be easily crossed. Where justification can come easy, and denial even easier.

Pastors have affairs because they are bored

If you have been pastoring for a while it can be very tempting to slip into caretaker mode and live off the work of the past. Perhaps the church is comfortable and you are comfortable. In fact the church would prefer you maintained the status quo. There is no compelling reason not to. So the Pastor basically gets bored. They seek after something beyond the mundane. Opportunity arises and they take it.

Pastors have affairs because they are human like all of us

All of us sin, are attracted to people who are not our spouse, and desire something which we shouldn’t have. It can lead to a situation, an affair, which is consensual, but entirely inappropriate and sinful.

Pastors have affairs because they are under pressure and spiritual attack

There are no excuses for moral failure, at some point you make a choice. However there are compelling reasons. Pastors can be under immense pressure to help people in so many areas of their lives, at the same time as balancing the budget, fulfilling administrative requirements (huge these days) and under spiritual attack from the Accuser.

Final Thoughts

The Church, and those who lead it, are God’s blueprint for the gospel to be shared in the world. It is a beautiful body, with the majority of Pastors having incredible integrity, heart and passion for Jesus and His people. The majority of Pastors never have a catastrophic moral failure. Most of them are faithful and loyal people. However when a Pastor fails, so many ripples occur. In my life I have had a number of mentors, both personal and from afar. Unfortunately a number of them have failed in this area. I do look up to people perhaps too much. In those moments where they have failed, it has wounded me, and scared me as well. One of the reasons I have written this post is to just try and make sense of it all myself. In recent days the news out of significant churches just causes me to pray. The Church at times appears so strong, and at other times so fragile.

This post may provoke strong reactions, perhaps disagreements, and perhaps attempted corrections at things I have missed or not stated.

So a disclaimer. These are merely my own thoughts and observations. I am not offering them or myself as some sort of authority. I speak merely as a pastor who has seen, suffered, been disappointed with, different leaders and pastors over the years. All within the context of loving pastors, being supportive, thinking the best of them, and perhaps most importantly, being one myself.

If you have something to comment, please do, but please be kind and frame it within the context I am offering.

The Spa Man

The Spa Man visits our church every now and then, depending on how many Baptisms we have at church. He drops off the spa we use for our Baptisms in the former factory building we call church. Apparently he does quite a few churches. The spa comes with no heater or bubbles, but that suits us. We use the water from our own tap and it is always a good week when we know we have a Baptism coming up.

Last week the Spa Man picked up the spa on Tuesday as he normally does but this time it was different. He wanted to chat, at length. I don’t wear a collar or robe, but he knows I am the minister. Turns out Spa Man has cancer, and not the type which is dealt with quickly and dispatched. I ask him how old he is and its obvious he has lived life to the full. He has grandchildren and wants to see them grow up and get married and be a part of the next season of their life. This may not happen.

So I listen and ask questions, and don’t offer up solutions. Spa man wants to chat to this Pastor who he probably sees two or three times a year. There is anger there, frustration at misdiagnosis but mostly a overwhelming sense that there is not much he can do in this situation. Apart from seeing doctors who have disappointed him. It is a precious time, and not what I expected to be doing on a Tuesday afternoon.

Finally I speak up and ask Spa Man if I can pray for him. He says yes of course and keeps talking. I ask permission to interrupt and say, actually Spa Man I want to pray for you right now, is that okay. He mumbles yes and I place my hand on his shoulder. I spend a few precious moments asking for the Holy Spirit to heal him. For the doctors to have wisdom. For him to have years ahead of joy, peace and strength with his grandchildren.

Is he healed, is he okay. What has happened. I look forward to our next baptism to ask the question.